Sunday, March 11, 2007

Everything has moved

There is really no reason for you to be here anymore. Nothing new will ever be put here.....ever.
You're just wasting your time, so update your damn bookmarks and RSS already. The blogger site has gone away. I bought a domain, I paid for hosting, and I want to make the most of it, so make sure you


Update your shit and never return here, lest ye be smote. Or something unpleasant like that.

Once again. The blogger site is no longer in service. It will eventually rot and fall apart from the inside, turning back into nutrients and providing sustenance for the trees. Until then, I expect you check out the new site. Check early and check often.

Once again, that number was:
operators are standing by.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Im moving

The website, that is.

I realize that its just a matter of days before this explodes in popularity and im getting thousands of readers a day. I reckon that I should move this to someplace a little more stable than blogger before that happens. That way I can get more control over my content, and do....well, anything I want. I should have everything set up within a week. All old posts will redirect to the new site (Which will be announced shortly). things will be bangin'. ANd I wont have "" hanging off the end of my domain like a tumor.

anyway. No new mindless garbage for you yet, but stay tuned - New post coming within 24 hours!

Ive also got new goodies coming for all y'all, like this Button, so you can advertise to the world just how much you love me.

Use the following code to implement it:... Actually, I cant show you the code to implement it because blogger is a taint. Actually, hold off on that until i get the new domain anyway.

And of course, a big welcome to mister Winsel!

Monday, March 5, 2007

Push To Talk is retarded

I was doing a job at a gas station the other day and I swear I've never seen so many people talking at their cell phones before. The incessant "BEEDLEBEEP" was obnoxious. Why do you people use that shit? I thought the whole idea behind Push to talk was that they will cut you some slack on your telephone costs in exchange for you:
  • giving up call privacy,
  • giving up some audio fidelity and
  • talking like a jackass into an upturned cell phone
but I looked at verizon's website and it appears that push to talk will set you back anywhere between $10 and $20 extra/month, and of course you can only PTT with other verizon subscribers.... and you can call them for free ANYWAY. So is there some magical convenience in using a half-duplex speakerphone that i'm just not seeing? It looks retarded and its far more annoying than just....y'know, calling people.

Furthermore, Because this communication is always half-duplex (one person talks at a time), not only are you able to communicate less information in the same time frame, you're going to use exactly HALF of the bandwidth that you would with a regular call of the same length, even more so when you consider the time spent waiting for a chirp in response. You're actually SAVING your provider money, and you're paying for the privilege. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? It doesn't look cool, It isn't convenient, and it certainly isn't saving you any money. PTT sucks. end of story.

Zune == Shit

For the zune to suck any more, it would legally have to be elected to congress.

I'll be the first to admit that the zune or its 'community' isn't nearly as annoying as apple and its feverishly rabid group of followers. But then again, the Zune community consists of 14 people.

What never ceases to amaze me is how Microsoft can do its damnedest to create a shitty product, but through sheer brute force, the product eventually takes hold. If Microsoft decides to throw enough money at a problem, they win. always. No matter how strongly you ipod fanboys choose think otherwise. MS took over the console arena in one generation. With a 75lb brick of a console. With a controller larger than my head. Yknow why they won? because they threw MONEY at the problem, made an ungodly powerful system and sold it at a loss, understanding that they would make NO money on this whatsoever. Now they're kicking sony's ass. I'm sure thats partly due to the fact that SONY SUCKS. but still. Microsoft wins. always.

anyway, back to me bitching about zune. The first time I saw one, it was the 'green and brown turd' model. I though it was absolutely hideous, but the more I stared at it, the more I realized that I needed one. It was Just beautiful. I'm being honest, there was some serious style there. Id even consider buying a zune just as soon as they hack it wide open and make it do the things it should've done out of the factory. Like fixing their '3 plays or 3 days' bug. Yes. Its a bug. Calling it anything less would be showing your customers just how little you care. oh. I'm almost sure that applying DRM to a copyrighted work without permission is illegal. Not that they would actually be charged because Washington has been sucking Microsoft's collective cock for so long that its jaw is surely going to fall off soon. Still, Its illegal to modify a copywritten work without permission if its for profit, and thats exactly what the Zune does when it applies DRM to mp3's you want send to other people. If we can get a class action lawsuit going, maybe they'll fix that shit.

I only bought an xbox after softmodding became a reality, and its been my favorite console, ever. The extra features are nice, the new dashboard is pretty, and XBMC is awesome. The fact that ive yet to buy a single game plays into it somehow also I'm sure. when softmodding a zune becomes a reality, I'm in. Until then, the zune is a decent piece of hardware hampered by shitty software.

Secondly, just what the fuck is a zune? It seems like we ran out of sensible names a long time ago, and now companies are just making up funny sounding words and trademarking them. ipod is another example, although I know what a pod is. How it applies to music is another question entirely. how about Skype? Where the fuck did that come from? sounds like a disease I don't want. And what the hell is the deal with the media and their penchant for eating bill gates' asshole? Every time MS comes up with some over priced under performing piece of garbage, the media is right there to beat that dead horse to death. Be it vista or the zune or xbox360 or what have you. Give that shit a rest. How about you asstards talk about something that microsoft or apple DIDN'T make. I know, its hard to find those things when your only source of technical information are press releases from redmond and apple, but for fucks sake. Take your heads out of your asses and you'll eventually find something. That or maybe you should just stop talking about things you don't understand. Remember the Aquateen thing? Just shut up. all of you.

The zune is garbage. Wireless music transfer is nice, but if its broken with this DRM nonsense, feel free eat shit and die. Everyone involved in the development of zune should be ashamed of themselves. If you know any of these people, kindly spit on them in public and ban them from the country club. thanks.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Fuck polar bears

I was reading some hippie bullshit the other day and I came across some bleeding heart garbage about 'saving the polar bears'. "OOOOh global warming is destroying the natural habitat of god's greatest creatures". Polar bears suck, can't you people see that? What the hell do they do for us? NOTHING because they live way the hell up in Antarctica or Canada or something. nobody really knows where they reside. If the polar bears are really in so much trouble of 'going extinct' why don't they just SWIM to the mainland and stop being stupid? furthermore, why cant these 'majestic, intelligent creatures' see that white is a stupid color for a bear. You should think about blue. That would look awesome.

Really, I wouldn't even have any problem with trying to save the polar bears' habitat, except for one simple thing: They lost all credibility when they sold their image to coca-cola. Why don't you premature rugs call up coke and see what they can do for you? Enjoy the soda, you furry bastards. I hope it was worth it.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Q) Whats better than paying for music?

A) A shotgun blast to the face!

So Apple has this Itunes music store, where they sell music to any idiot who will pay for it. This music is locked to this user's computer. Its illegal to try to re-sell this music. Its illegal to use this music on any device than the ipod. Now, I'm not singling apple out here, all music stores fuck you equally hard. But France has basically said "fix this crazy shit, or you wont be doing business in our country" I commend France for trying to prevent Apple from shitting all over their citizens. So some computer illiterate fuckheads in our government speak out and decide that they support apple in this matter. They believe that government intervention is unnecessary and that the free market will fix DRM and Collusion and other mind bogglingly anticompetitive practices. I wouldn't have a problem with this at all if free market rights were extended to everyone, not just the filthy fucking rich. Now hear me out. If the music industry is allowed to sell what amounts to nothing for $.99, AND they are allowed to lock these songs to their own proprietary player, Why shouldn't I be allowed to crack the encryption on these songs? Furthermore, why shouldn't we just repeal copyright law? If a kid down the street is offering you a copy of the latest hit album for free, It certainly cant be costing apple that much to reproduce, right? SO, everyone will just steal their music, yeah? and then these cartels will eventually disappear. Guess what you borderline retarded, hypocritical scumbags? thats how the fucking free market is supposed to work. If you cant compete, you wither and die. Consumers win. The "free market" is NOT just a euphemism for "state sponsored monopoly" YOU fucking backstabbing bastards, I hope you all die.

On a sidenote, Anyone who pays to download music is an idiot and a traitor. Every time you pay for music, you help the RIAA sue more people. You help to fund rootkits that sony has a penchant for. You help them pollute the radio spectrum with more corporate garbage. I'm not saying you have to "steal" music, just stop buying it. Is it really that hard to NOT do something? If you've got money that you just HAVE to spend, why not try crack? it'll clear that money problem right up, and then you wont be able to harm ME with YOUR purchases, asshole. If we all just stop this rampant consumerism, These bastards will all go away. Maybe not this year, but eventually. If you want to support the artists, Buy a hoodie. Or send them some heroin.

Speaking of Digital rights, There's an amendment to the the DMCA floating through congress now called the FAIR USE act. This would basically give back all of the fair use rights that the DMCA stole from us. Unfortunately, This bill has been submitted once a year for the past like 5 years and most of these assholes don't give it a second look. Thats right, your congresspeople will jump at the chance to give more of your money to corporate America, but when you ask for a (VERY REASONABLE) set of exclusions, these same dickmunches are nowhere to be found. No doubt they're too busy enjoying RIAA sponsored dinner parties.

Every politician in Washington is an ideal candidate for abortion. Once they get time travel working, you're all fucked.


Holy shit. I rock

So I was in class a week or so ago, Just trying to make it through this last semester without killing someone or something. I had just finished drawing this incredible mutated bird with crab's claws on my notebook when it occurred to me that a person's mental capacity is often inversely proportional to how much they show it.

You see, as I was finishing the feet and trying to figure out how to draw realistic feathers on that which I had now dubbed the 'monsterbird RAWRRR' , a mid-thirties prodigy decided to speak his mind. " that means that the weather has an effect on our environment?" to which the obviously deserving young lad was given a reply: "Thats right, Kirk. Did everyone else hear what Kirkham just said?" This substantial dose of encouragement was apparently just the thing he needed to wipe away the clouds of doubt and instill vast knowledge in his little mind. Why, the rest of the hour he was nodding right along with EVERYTHING the professor had to say, and occasionally looking around to the rest of us with his to see if we, like him, felt compelled to show to the entire class our degree of understanding with that perpetual bobbing of the head. Bobble head dolls are fun, this jackass was not. Probably due in part to the fact that his cranial movements were not initiated by me flicking his skull......hmm.

Now, i know alot of you are thinking "Well Jay, you were just drawing a bird"
WRONG! It was 'monsterbird rawrrr' and I would say that even though I was ostensibly scribbling nonsense, I was also doing several other things. A) I was monitoring the professor's every word to see if he had anything important to say. If and when something that I didn't already know was uttered, I would've snapped my head up and listened with full intent to learn. B) I stole this pen from a salesman at best buy and its awesome. It writes like liquid sex. I was testing out its drawing abilities. Knowledge is power. and C) I was trying to keep as low a profile as possible. If I show them that I care, then these 'professor' types get the idea that they can just chat me up and call on me in class and otherwise test out the theory that I like being put on the spot. Hint: I don't.

No. Kirkham is not his real name. Who the hell names their kid kirkham? Is that even a real name?